What type of person am I?
When it comes to ‘people types’, we’ve all read and possibly participated in various online personality tests.
We’ve all read the LinkedIN or Facebook posts about ‘what makes an x, y or z’ type person.
I’m sure all of the above have been tested on animals, scientifically proven and all that technical bullshit and I really don’t want to say this but…
I’m This Type Of Person!
So having myself been a ‘person’ for almost 40 years and after realizing that even David Tennant, when becoming the 10th Doctor, struggled with what type of person he was before eventually coming to the same conclusion as I just have, in that…
In fact we are all brilliant in our own way. Everyone single one of us are unique, right?
But, what makes us unique? Here are 31 things that make me, Steve McSteveface – unique.
I am the type of person that:
1. Would rather sit in the back of a taxi and not have to engage with the driver other than when I get in the car and only again when I leave at my destination.
Note to all taxi drivers – if I sit in the fucking back of your cab I don’t want to talk to you, okay?
2. Eats squid rings thinking that they are onion rings – on three separate occasions until my mistake was hilariously pointed out to me. Especially hilarious as I have always proclaimed my hatred of seafood!
3. Doesn’t cry at sad new but cries at stupid shit like when the animals died on Animal Hospital.
SIDENOTE: Rolf Harris – how could you do that to us 80s kids? You have ruined our fucking childhood memories!
4. Can NEVER spell definitely or necessarily despite knowing how easy it would be to actually just fucking learn it once and for all…but that’s what spellchecks are for, right?
5. Just knows when not to say certain things out loud.
6. Used to imagine myself in different make-believe situations when trying to fall asleep (before discovering Netflix).
7. When realising I’m walking the wrong way down a street, will walk into a shop or cross the road rather than simply turn around on the spot and walk the opposite direction.
8. Used to think that tuna fishes were the same size as the little tin can that they sometimes come in.
9. Feels awkward shouting out someone’s name in public.
10. Can stand up on front of a large audience and talk for hours but can’t do idol chit-chat or small talk.
11. Can drink a bottle of wine and not feel drunk (this does not make me an alcoholic okay we shall call it ‘tolerance’, yeah?).
12. Gets paranoid I’ve got a ‘bat in the cave’ if someone starts touching their nose when they are speaking to me. I mean if I’ve got a fucking bogey hanging out my nose just shout ‘bogies’ at me and I will get my hanky!
13. Hates when people use the word ‘little’ to refer to something that’s neither little or even remotely quantifiable by size!
14. Feels the need to laugh when getting bad news and then focuses too much on trying not to laugh rather that consume the news.
15. Will never judge anyone based on someone else’s opinion.
16. Can’t understand how some people have time to do all sorts of multiple indoor or outdoor leisure activities…or even just activities…that don’t involve sitting, lying down, sofas, beds, laptops or tablets!
17. Would walk an extra ten minutes to save one pound (and now that I can drive – well, drive an extra 5 minutes).
18. Always wear socks to bed when I’m staying somewhere that isn’t home.
19. Doesn’t trust people who drink tea during the day or change their shoes when they get into work. If you know people that do both…
CALL THE FUCKING POLICE NOW!
20. Used to worry about stupid shit but now couldn’t give a flying fuck about the less important stuff or the things I simply can’t change!
21. Could quite easily (and happily) have a 10 minute conversation using only animated GIFs and Abhishek Singh– if you are reading this please build a Peeqo for me!
22. Has worried constantly about nuclear war since I was little. These days, thanks to the Holy Fucking Shitity of The Donald, The Putin and The Kim Jong Un – my worries are now more justified than ever so thanks for that you country leading pricks!
23. Would much rather take a pee in a cubicle than at a urinal – for lots of reasons, just ask me to tell you for why!
But what if it was this toilet below – would I use the cubicle then or wee at the urinal? Neither – I’d piss my fucking pants and tell everybody I done it to keep warm!
24. Thinks every car on the road is driven by a man and is out to get me when I’m driving.
25. Repeats myself clearly twice but the third time I say it with a hint of anger at having been asked to repeat myself again – you are now taking the absolute piss or you need to go and get your fucking ears cleared out!
26. Would rather go in a huff than argue – it’s much more annoying to the other people involved and saves me energy by not having to talk for a few hours or days!
27. Puts my boxers shorts on before my socks – always!
28. Hates getting shuttle buses to the airport after getting off a plane – fucking drive up to the stand mr airplane pilot, please!
29. Is smart enough to figure out when people are talking about me via Instant Messenger while we are all in the same room. Trust me, it’s not that difficult…neither is entering the room and realising that the real-life conversation taking place before I opened the door was actually about me! I’m flattered that I’m so conversation worthy but COME ON if you have something to say then say it to my face!
30. Has to sleep with the duvet wrapped tightly up around my neck, even when it is hot. I also pick my nose in my sleep apparently!
31. Lives & breathes music and can think of a song for every situation so let’s finish on that note with these…
What about you?
What makes you unique?
Why not write your own ‘Things That Make Me Unique’ post and share it with me but above all else…
If you like what you see here and feel that I am award worthy – cast your votes NOW!