Travelling By Bus Advice

Stagecoach claim ‘fragile economy’ to blame for bus cuts

National bus chain Stagecoach are citing a “fragile economy” as one of the main reasons behind controversial cuts to bus services.

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I only recently passed my driving test so this won’t affect me but I used to travel by bus fairly often and I actually quite enjoyed it.

For those of us who still travel frequently by bus here’s some of my advice.

Be prepared…

Okay, so you’ve checked the timetable and you now know when the bus is due to arrive. You’ve checked where the nearest bus stop is and worked out what time you should leave so you can get to the bus stop in plenty time and you’ve then walked all the way to the bus stop.  It’s safe to assume that by now you know you will be getting on a bus quite soon so why, oh why, do some people still wait until they are standing in front of the driver to get their money/ticket ready.

Come on people, don’t hold up all the prepared people standing behind you in the pouring rain and BE READY TO BOARD!

Learn from air travellers – they practically wave their boarding passes above their heads like Olympic flags as soon as they enter the airport.

Be courteous…

If there is someone less secure on their feet than yourself waiting in the queue then please let them get on the bus first. Bus drivers are not usually the most considerate people in the world and they never wait until everyone is sitting comfortably before moving off. This is normally fine for people with a secure footing, however, for those not so steady on their feet, if they are not seated in plenty time they could end up kissing the back window in no time as the driver speeds off.

Give up your seat for....men with stick weilding penises, giant babies, hemorrhoid sufferers, armless ladies & ladies with lollipop breasts...
Give up your seat for….men with stick wielding penises, giant babies, haemorrhoid sufferers, armless ladies & ladies with lollipop breasts…

Always give up your seat for priority travellers. If you can’t grasp that concept then don’t sit in those seats in the first instance.

Choose your seat wisely…

If the bus is not too busy then keep at least one empty seat between you and the nearest passenger. Don’t invade their space unnecessarily.

If the bus is almost full then sit next to the first person with an en empty seat next to them. If you don’t then that person will be left wondering why no one will sit next to them…”Do I smell?”…”Do I look mean?” etc.

Once you have found your seat and are ready for your journey, don’t put your rucksack/suitcase/purse/kitchen sink on the seat next to you so that no one else can sit there – this is not a Forrest Gump movie  and that seat is not “taken”.

Your fellow passengers…

By all means listen to your iPod but don’t have it blaring. I don’t force people to listen to my taste in music so why should others be forced to listen to yours.

If you sit next to someone with headphones on – don’t speak to them. THEY CAN’T HEAR YOU!

If you must chew gum then just chew it. No one wants to see it so keep your mouth shut and don’t show it off. Don’t crack it and definitely don’t stick it under the seat when you are done with it.

What other people do on their phones is private so don’t try to look at the text message they are currently reading or writing however tempting it might be…

Don’t be gross!

What I mean by that is don’t pick your spots, your ears or your nose and most certainly don’t perform any other bodily function that most people consider an “indoor” activity and absolutely not appropriate for public transport.

Ssssshhhh – use your “inside voice”. No one else wants to hear how boring your conversation is so just take it down a notch or two, okay?

Have a pleasant onward journey…

If you know exactly where your end stop is then don’t press the “dinger” a micro-second after it’s left the stop before yours. Travelling by bus is not a quiz show. The fastest finger won’t get the opportunity to become a millionaire and everyone will still get off the bus safely even if you just sit on your ass and wait a few more minutes.

This is not a quiz show buzzer...
This is not a quiz show buzzer…

Never get out of your seat whilst the bus is turning around a corner. This will only ever end up with you falling over and most likely landing in some other passenger’s lap. Other passengers do not appreciate unwelcome lap dancers.

Thank the driver…

After all, they have provided you with a service.

On the buses...
On the buses…
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13 thoughts on “Travelling By Bus Advice

  1. I loved using the public transportation system in Scotland! The only reason I had a car was to get to far away places, but I think next time I go back I may just go public transport the entire time! Plus driving on the left was definitely a crazy feeling.

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  2. Ha! I properly laughed at that, especially the olympic flag and quiz show bit. if I am on a bus it means my car is off the road, so I’m doubly grumpy, and people fishing for change at the bottom of a giant rucksack are likely to get a smack upside the head from me if they don’t get a move on.

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  3. Well said. I think I’ve only been on a bus once (in Dublin), since I was the equivalent of Little Gump on the school bus. But I’ll keep this in mind – not that I ended most of the tips as I’m not a jerkwad 🙂

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