Burger Off And Just Give Me My Burger On A Plate…Please


What makes you moan?

Here is one of my moans…

As a non-vegetarian, a lover of meat and “junk food” I think that you simply can’t beat going out somewhere for food and ordering a good old Burger & Chips. Why then are so many eating establishments all over the world trying to bugger up the Burger?

I can’t remember when things started changing but it used to work like this…

1. Order burger of choice
2. Burger of choice arrives on standard plate with chips and other accessories
3. Eat & enjoy the food

From my recent experiences, it now goes something like this…

1. Order burger of choice
2. Burger of choice arrives on some fancy/awkward/pain in the ass serving contraption
3. Frustration & Swearing while eating the food


When did it change and whose ridiculous idea was it in the first place?

The variation on serving options is quite extensive and so far I have experienced the following…

1. Chopping boards
2. Chopping boards with paper sheets
3. A roof slate/tile
4. Accompanying tiny little baskets/buckets/pots for the chips & accessories

Generally I order burgers which, if I tried to eat with my hands I would end up with the contents all over my face, hands and possibly in my lap so I like to use a knife and fork.

The above variations don’t really lend themselves to using a knife and fork because…

1. There are no edges on chopping boards and tiles/slates therefore my food usually slides onto the table, onto the floor or sometimes even shoots away off across the restaurant with the potential to blind other diners.



2. Using cutlery such as knives and forks on paper sheets which, due to the food these paper sheets end up covered in grease and inevitably tear within seconds so I end up eating paper – sorry, I did not order the paper topping in my burger, thanks anyway!

Usually I can just about cope when dealing with the above situations but recently I came across the most ludicrous version of this…new and pretentious apparently, “fashionable” serving option – the burger came in a paper lined…wait for it, what can only be described as a laundry basket! How the actual fuck are you meant to cut through something whilst it’s resting on a non flat surface?


I left said restaurant with an angry face, an unsatisfied stomach and a pair of burger-flavoured jeans!

It’s reached the point that I have to ask the waiters who are taking my order – “will my food come on a plate?” They usually look at me like I am a crazy person so I have to clarify that no, I don’t expect it to be served directly into my hands/mouth but I am merely checking that it won’t arrive on some fancy ass serving option other than a STANDARD PLATE!

Am I the only one that this annoys? Who is to blame? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below or tweet me @stevesays2014

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