I think by now we all know that it’s almost 2016. I think by now we are all aware of all the New Year’s resolution type articles that are appearing everywhere. I’m guessing some of us are drafting up our own version (which is fine by the way) but I won’t be. Why? Realistically – we all pretty much suck at sticking to them so why bother?
Last year I tried something new by having a “power-word” instead and it seemed like a cool, new perspective on the old tradition but, alas no – that was also quite sucky! My power-word was “Drive” and well – read this post to see how that turned out. I also still smoke, haven’t been to the gym in over 4 years and I’m now seeing a new number when I weigh myself on the scales that I’ve never reached before and sadly, in this case, points do not mean prizes.
No resolution post? No power-word post? What could I possibly do instead? Simple – I’m going to take someone else’s resolutions and reality check it, of course. This person even categorised them!
Theirs are in italics and my realistics are in bold. Let’s do this (insert fist pump here)…
- Paint one painting per month – I’ve been meaning to paint my bathroom for months…I might get around to that
- photograph more, once per week – this is easy, I take at least 20 photos with my phone every day…cat photos don’t count? What?
- sew one piece per two months – the only sewing kit I own is the free one from a hotel I stayed in
- write one letter per month – ok, can I start with “A”?
- design a planner and print it – I’d need to start planning the design of the planner first and by that time I would have got bored
- read one book per month – do takeaway menus or recipe books count?
- Keep a journal to jot down anything that comes to mind, like recipes, memories and ideas – all my best ideas come to me in the shower so just buy me some bath crayons please
- keep writing in your diary every day – nice idea but it never done Anne Frank much good did it?
- do the 30 day to splits challenge -> get into the splits easily – obviously written by a women or a man with a tiny penis and testicles
- do more yoga, practice 15 minutes every 2 days, or 30 minutes every 3 days – or just buy the mat and have a little nap on it
- master the crow – the movie? Can I lie on my mat to watch it?
- master the head stand – yup, I can certainly think of a few people whose head I would like to stand on
- run a half marathon, maybe a full one – or just remember the days when we called a Snickers a Marathon – eat half, maybe a full one or maybe six
- take the stairs instead of the elevator everywhere – take a hike bozo!
- Reduce stress – by not setting unrealistic, unachievable goals
- plan everything, but still be spontaneous and not overly strict – is that not an oxy-moron, you moron!
- get organized, meaning set priorities and plan – plan to fail, plan to fail
- sleep more – go to bed earlier – if I went to bed earlier then there would really be no point in getting up in the first place
- be happier with your life – take some time to just sit down, meditate and enjoy life – can I do this first thing in the morning – possibly in the bathroom?
- schedule “me” time, without any electronics – rude, just rude
- every quarter year, clean out – wardrobe? Bowels? What? Perhaps “be more specific” should be in this list
- start loving myself more – this was something I was told I should be doing less of…oh well, win-win
- stop procrastinating, instead reward yourself more after you’ve done everything – with wine – YAY!
- spend less time on youtube, max. 15 minutes a day, on weekends a max. of 30 minutes – as us Scots would say “shut it, you tube!”
- go on more girls night outs – I think there’s probably laws against this kind of thing
- go to dance more – I dance plenty thank you
- once a week, spend a few hours with family – does Facebook count?
- say more of what you mean, instead of keeping your mouth shut, but don´t insult anyone – insult everyone!
- cook more, 3 times a week – just saying “cook” would have been enough
- save money, everything I earn, put aside 50%, the other 50% put in a jar that is for spending, don´t necessarily spend everything – stuff, stuff, buy more stuff
- do more with my hair – a hairstyle a day challenge? – oh I actually like this idea
- paint your nails once a week – oh, this too
- travel – 60 mile round trip every day to work and back
- listen to music more – some things are just not possible
- sing more – “more, more, more?” again – be more specific!
- eat more veggies – no, you should never eat other people
- drink more water – keep up the litre in the morning – I’m too busy to be peeing all the time, thanks anyway
- drink more tea – I always go to bed after a cup of tea so okay then!
- join a gym – makes no difference
- run 3 times a week at least – to the shops before they shut to buy more cigarettes
- make a planner and plan out posts – that’s called my brain
- write interesting and helpful stuff – well, why wouldn’t you?
- start series and motto days – this sometimes might add to your stress though…
- spend less time on the internet – HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
So, what’s your New Year’s Resolutions – are you brave enough to share them with me?
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