Oh My F***ing Google…Volume One

How do people find your blog? I’ve read a few posts from people sharing their “Search Terms” from their stats page and it’s something that always interests me. It also scares me a little bit too…

I’d like to share my Top 10 search terms and what post they are related to. This is information taken from my stats page. Of course I mean “the old stats page” – take the hint WordPress!

10 – “Kylie Minogue”
9 – “Eurovision Lady Beard”
8 – “Drama Llama”
7 – “Maps Maroon 5”
6 – “Mel B ill”
5 – “christmas monkey”
4 – “no tits porn”
3 – “Cliff Richard Christmas”
2- “Steve Says”
1 – “awkward christmas”

It’s no surprise that my Christmas themed posts are number one on this list but what’s quite shocking is the number 3 most searched term – “no tits porn” but it does actually get worse. There are some really bizarre search terms that people type into Google and what’s more worrying is some of them end up on my blog.

Here are some of the most weird search terms…

“frances ruffelle” knickers – someone should tell Frances she might be on to a winner

“index and middle finger the same length means you are a werewolf” – interesting theory

Because I post a lot about my cats some people will end up on my blog when they are searching for a different kind of “pussy” so there are a lot of them. However this one is a little odd…

“cat between breasts” – the mind boggles

I’m sure there are a lot more and the ones that are included in the “unknown search terms” doesn’t even bear thinking about!

I’ll leave you with the search term which showed yesterday that actually inspired me to write this post and the one that is wrong on so many levels. What is equally worrying is the fact that this person ended up on Steve Says…

“pics of my sisters fat pussy when she’s asleep” – W T actual F???

What about you? Do you check your “search terms” and are there any funny/weird ones?

OMG – Pft me…



19 thoughts on “Oh My F***ing Google…Volume One

  1. The most eye opener one I had was –

    “Does Hugh Bonnerville have big balls?”

    I have no idea, as I don’t know Mr Bonerville, but it was connected to a post I wrote about Downton Abbey (The Secret of Downton Abbey). And before you ask me, no, the secret had nothing to do with Mr Bonerville at all 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Essentially Pop’s search terms are pretty boring, but what staggers me is that every single day – not just once a week, or once a month – every day – someone comes to our site looking for…Westlife. No idea if it’s the same person hoping for some update or there’s a massive bunch of fans desperate for Westlife news, but it’s there. Every day. The only other search term we’ve been found under is Jedward, but not nearly so often as Westlife, which I find staggering, as we’ve written about WL once and about Jedward 27 times (or thereabouts).

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love the search term posts. I do one quarterly. It is truly disturbing what some people type into a search engine. Sadly, I’m sure some of my searches end up worrying someone somewhere when I’m doing research for my blog or perhaps looking up creative ways to kill a character in a book I’m writing. Oddly the search term horniestintheland brings people to a list of my stuff. While that may be true I have no idea how it got affiliated with my blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. OMG, Steve, I am SO glad it’s not just me! A whole section of ‘Come Laughing!’ (my book of humorous erotica!) is devoted to the hilarious, and vulgar, search term. I’ll share a couple now: ‘Very old rampant Grannie shaggers’ – and my all-time favourite, ‘Stalion mating with Woden horse porn’ (the mind boggles!) As an ex-English teacher, I was itching to get the red pen out and correct the appalling grammar and spelling in these two fine examples of the genre – but decided I didn’t want to encourage the blighters!

    Liked by 1 person

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