The Hotel On Channel 4: Episode Five…

The good news? Alison was back! The bad news Mark Jenkins was about to lose his big gay following in Channel 4’s The Hotel.

As if having the dull face of owner Vicky to look at for four weeks wasn’t bad enough – this week the wheeled in her mother who is basically an older version of Vicky!



Mark decides to host Torquay’s Gay Pride at The Cavendish to pull in the money to impress the owners once more. What a great idea, I thought, surely he can big this a roaring success.

However it turns out that Mark knows as much about “the gays” as he does about Scottish people. According to him, it’s all YMCA, Disco songs and heaving petting in the swimming pool. What would I say to that? Erm, chance would be a fine thing! Seriously, Mark – a bit cringeworthy.

All together now…YOUNG MAN…

The awesome Alison was back this week and Mark roped her to try to get a celebrity guest to attend the event. I love how she just says how stupid she thinks Mark is but she does it in such a nice way!

Alison eventually managed to get cage fighter, ex-husband of Katie Price and ex-celebrity Big Brother housemate – Alex Reid. Perhaps Alison’s definition of “celebrity” is different from mine and I really hope they didn’t have to pay a fee for this guy.

Maybe Alex should have came dressed like this instead…


They may have “came out” already but there was no “gays” coming in to The Cavendish and the disco ball in the function room was spinning for no one. Maybe if they had used proper posters rather than sticking an A4 sign on top of a wet floor sign they may have attracted more people – just a thought…

Mr “TorGay” was crowned and I’m still not sure if he also got a certificate as that was one of Mark’s suggestions – I think that was suggested just after he stated that the Pride committee “didn’t even look gay”.

Comments on Facebook about the event called it ‘outdated’, ‘tacky’ and ‘not something to be proud of’, but Mark responded by defending the event by calling it a bit of fun.


Alex Reid entered the big, massive ballroom to be inside a big massive empty space. Still, I suppose he was used to that as he did have sex with Katie Price and the words “bucket” and “fanny” spring to mind!

Eeeee, it’s like a “wizard’s sleeve”…


Despite his “likeable ignorance” on this occasion I was really hoping that at the last-minute Mark would turn the whole situation around (no pun intented) and make lots of money. Sadly, this never happened and he now needs to prove himself all over again.

Oh yeah, and the guests this week were a giant and a midget who drank lots of vodka and not much else

WARNING: Not the actual guests (pretty acurate though)…

Can’t wait to check in again next week!

As for all the backlash – at the end of the day this is a programme designed to boost TV ratings so just accept it for what it is! As always Trip Advisor can be guaranteed to tell it like it is so if you want to know what it’s really like then take a look at the reviews for The Cavendish on Trip Advisor and make up your own mind.

Watch episode five and get excited for episode six!

OMG – Pft me…

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