The Hotel On Channel 4: Episode Four…

Who says you need lots of money to make someone’s stay in your Hotel a good time? Not Mark Jenkins from Channel 4’s The Hotel – that’s for sure…

If hotel owner, Vicky, stopped dragging her miserable face around and complaining that their was no money for 2 minutes she might actually get some productive work done!

See – she can smile!


Good customer service costs nothing and Mark was on a mission to make sure he got the staff to deliver the best. He went on Trip Advisor and realised how bad some reviews were but picked out some good ones to give the staff confidence in themselves.

Well, maybe not all the staff…head waiter, Paul, who describes himself as Marmite – you either love him or hate him. I, along with the other 99% of the population would probably hate him. His style is not right for being a waiter. Loud, over familiar to the extent of being rude and…kinda dirty looking too. If I wanted to be served my dinner by Roy Chubby Brown I’d arrange a dinner date with the horrible comedian. He also had a slight attitude of “them and us” towards the customers so perhaps he needs a career change!

Would you want your dinner served to you by a daft t**t? No, me neither!


Some of the things he was saying to customers was cringeworthy and I would be squirming if I was there. Mark then came along and showed a genuine interest in the customers (fair enough he Google-Street-Viewed their house beforehand so knew who the posh ones were and homed in on them – clever!) and they were lapping it up. To be honest, that would still annoy me and I’d just want to be left in peace to eat my dinner but I’d rather it was Mark’s style of annoyance than Paul’s.

There was a young couple, Ryan and Kelly, staying this week who I can only describe as a male/female, non singing, f***ing boring version of The Proclaimers! Seriously, I wanted to slit my wrists every time they came on the screen.

Ryan & Kelly were too boring to be allowed on the Internet, so here’s The Proclaimers instead…


Mark continued to wow the guests who, even though were staying in a pretty shitty hotel, had a great time and it was all down to his attitude, chat and brilliant ideas! He arranged a beach fun day by the pool and despite the rain made it such a success that one guest wanted to have it happen every day. Although someone should tell Mark that the big photo thing he put up is called a mural not a muriel – who does he think he is Hilda Ogden?

Can’t wait to check in again next week!

As for all the backlash – at the end of the day this is a programme designed to boost TV ratings so just accept it for what it is! As always Trip Advisor can be guaranteed to tell it like it is so if you want to know what it’s really like then take a look at the reviews for The Cavendish on Trip Advisor and make up your own mind.

Watch episode four and get excited for episode five!

OMG – Pft me…

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