You’ll Never Read Any Other Review Of Celebrity Big Brother 2015 Like This One…

As always, I watched the launch episode of Celebrity Big Brother – whether I continue to watch it remains to be seen. Predictably, the internet trolls were out on force on Twitter but I stuck to my philosophy of being an Internet Moomin and all tweets from @stevesays2014 were far from trolling. So, what do I think of this year’s contestants..?

Katie Hopkins

“Katie really embraces social media and I’m always impressed how quickly she can work her trotters on an iPhone”

Alexander O’Neal

“It is just impossible to “criticize” this man – he wore those white trainers like they were made just for him”

 

Alicia Douvall

“She called her daughter Papaya – now if that isn’t encouraging having five portions of fruit & veg a day then I don’t know what is! What a great mother.”

 

Calum Best

“Is there nothing that this guy can’t turn his hand to? He’s managed to make a fortune out of not really have any talent – surely that’s a talent on its own?”

 

Cami Li

“She is saving her stylist a fortune by wearing very little clothes most of the time – this is cost saving at it’s best”

 

Chloe Goodman

“This young lady will pretend to be Cheryl Fernandez Versini when Cheryl can’t be arsed. Cheryl gets paid millions and Chloe only gets pocket change – how generous is she?”

 

Jeremy Jackson

“Jeremy got a starring role in Baywatch, beating mega star Leonardo DiCaprio. I bet Channel 5 haven’t asked Leo to be in the BB house have they? No, well done Jezza!”

 

Kavana

“He bought his parents a house with his first pop star pay cheque and the new owners of that house, now that he had to sell it, love telling people that story”

 

Keith Chegwin

“Waaaaaahey”

 

Ken Morley

“Ken was never suspended from Coronation Street for being a pervert”

 

Michelle Visage

“Michelle loves when people think she was part of the pop band Visage because everyone in the UK has heard of them”

 

Nadia Sawalha

“Nadia often bakes a little cake for her sister Julia who was in Absolutely Fabulous and Press Gang”

 

Patsy Kensit

“Patsy has been working since she was four and is looking forward to having a rest”

 

Perez Hilton

“He’s got a little blog on the internet and is working on those stats”

What do you think of the contestants?

OMG – Pft me…

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