One Day In My Life

The late, great Michael Jackson once sang a song called “One Day In Your Life” so I thought I would describe a typical day in my life…

Today started earlier than normal – as in 4am kind of early. The reason for this was due to the #scotstorm weather going on outside or as I referred to it – “blowy as f**k”. I actually thought that the bedroom windows were going to blow in. Thankfully, I had a late start at work as I had a dentist appointment first thing to fix my broken tooth. There is no better feeling than constantly pressing the snooze button on the alarm clock and having all those “bonus 10 minutes”.

It was a waste of time fixing my hair because as soon as I stepped outside it was game over but hey ho…

Before leaving the house I made sure that I had transferred my earphones from my work jacket to my Friday jacket as we have “dress down day” every Friday. However, when I went to leave the car to start the 15 minute walk to the dentist I couldn’t find them in my pocket. I assumed they must have fallen out somewhere between the house and the driveway. Oh well, I still had time so I made an extra trip to HMV so I could pick up a cheap pair to use for the day.

I go into HMV quite a lot either to pass the time or just have a general browse so I was confident that I could go directly to the section that included the earphones. Wrong! After 2 years they had decided to move things around so I had to hunt around which eventually ended up with me having to go upstairs to the second level. I found the cheapest set and went to the desk to pay and was greeted, no wait that’s too nice a word, grunted at by the sales assistant – seriously a “hi”, “thanks” and “cheerio” isn’t too much to ask for is it? I then proceeded to go back downstairs by first walking onto the “up” escalator which was a tad embarrassing but I soon got over it.

No wonder the earphones were cheap – they had shit sound and kept falling out my ears. I had to insert them so hard that I almost had a coughing fit while not being able to hear anything other than my heartbeat which, since I was now running a little behind schedule and walking slightly faster than normal, was pounding. Dentist – here I come!

A lot of people hate going to the dentist but I don’t mind. I was actually quite looking forward to a nice lie down and closing my eyes again. When I got there the receptionist was really nice but for someone who is a dental receptionist it’s not really good PR for the company to have a set of front teeth that you could drive a bus through, is it?

I had to wait for a few minutes but then my dentist came through to fetch me. I hadn’t been there in a couple of years so I wasn’t sure how much chit-chat there would be. Oh, but there was chit-chat-a-plenty before I even got my “lie down” and even then there was “lying down chit-chat”. Honestly – you’ve just put a rubber tent over my mouth, you are sticking god knows what inside it and you’re still asking me questions? How the hell can I answer. I did initially make the grunting noise of agreement but then I gave up and just let her answer her own questions.

How the f**k do you expect me to answer?

I do like my dentist and I’m not sure if it’s because she does a really good job or because she treats me like I’m four. She does pre-describe the procedure she’s about to do to me by saying things like “oh, get ready there is gonna be pressure, pressure” or “hang tight, this will be bumpy, bumpy”. I’m fine with that so long as she’s not doing it because she thinks I’m a bit simple!

Now, the next thing I just thought was normal when being treated by a woman dentist but after speaking to Greg – apparently it’s not. When my dentist is working in my mouth her boob is always pressed up against the side of my face. Although I don’t have breasts myself I can understand how they might get in the way so I was ok with it as long as I didn’t have to look, touch or do anything else with them. But, but, but when I told Greg this, he said he’d never had a dental breast pushed against his face so now I’m thinking that my dentist must have extra-large breasts or tried to sexually molest me – either way my teeth look fab now so I’m not fussed!

Not pleasant in everyone’s case...

Teeth fixed, it was off to work I went for the afternoon and I was very productive of course. This was only after thinking I had also lost my keys, thinking they had also fallen on my driveway with my headphones and by now someone had picked them up and were inside my house. Luckily this wasn’t the case and I eventually found them in my pocket.

Friday is wine day so on the way home we stopped off to pick up a bottle of wine from the local shop. We could have went to the supermarket but they don’t have chilled white wine and I like to pop the cork as soon as I get through the front door at home so we went to the local shop. My criteria for a bottle of wine are that it has to be on special offer, no more than £5 i.e. it was originally more expensive and it has to be at least 12% alcohol level. Tonight I found one that was 14.5%! I have never known of this – what a find! I did buy it but I also but another less strong one to drink tonight as I have a driving lesson tomorrow and I am bad enough at driving usually nevermind having drunk “rocket fuel” the night before!

You might be thinking that this has been a good day all in all but I have saved the very best until last. When I did get home I had mail – woo hoo! Some nice guy at the tax office has decided to give me a cheque…

Somewhere there is an Apple Mac Mini with my name on it!
Somewhere there is an Apple Mac Mini with my name on it!

Now the question is – what can I treat myself to?

I hope your day has been just as epic as mine – tell me about it!


6 thoughts on “One Day In My Life

  1. I was trying to figure out how you were writing about boobs, and now it makes sense!

    My dentist is a French man who is a soccer player and looks amazing. Sigh. I need to go schedule a cleaning, I think…

    Liked by 1 person


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