If You Don’t Believe in “Jinx” Then You Should!

The word “jinx” has various meanings but I always take it to be when talking about events with too much confidence that it will bring bad luck – i.e. “it will jinx it”. I’ve never really been a believer in this superstition – until today…

I’ve started making more of an effort at work when I am running training courses in the fact that I will wear a suit, a nice shirt and shoes and I’ve started realising I need glasses again so I have a cool, fashionable pair now. The term “look good, feel good” does have some element of truth but in my case so does the term “you can’t polish a turd” but anyway, I try!

Today, I was in town and able to spend lunch time with Greg which is rare so we decided to take advantage of this and treat(?) ourselves to a McDonalds. I intentionally didn’t go for the fanciest burger as I knew it would have loads of extra bits in it and the potential of spillage onto me and my clothes so I opted for a plain quarter pounder with cheese.

I took extra napkins which was followed by a discussion about how we don’t like the fact that automatic hand driers are replacing paper towels in toilets. Why? Simply because in order for me to keep my crazy hair under control I use a lot of product in it which, after 2 hours of standing in front of 6 people trying to train them, can lead to a bit of a shiny forehead. After using the bathroom I sometimes like to wipe my face too which is not possible with a hand drier. Well, it might be but then my hair would end up looking like I’d been in a wind tunnel.

To protect my image I've replaced my image with a much nicer man...
To protect my image I’ve replaced myself with a much nicer man…

So, with extra napkins on my knee and in my collar there was no way I was making a mess. Greg started saying how he always spills stuff on himself while at work and I pipe up and say that I’ve never had any of those types of accidents and never really have to worry about having messed up clothes at work. I quickly followed that up with the statement…

“I shouldn’t have said that, I’ve probably just ‘jinxed’ myself”

Hmmmmm…

Meal(?) finished, clothes still clean and it was off back to the office I went for a meeting that started in 10 minutes. I was within 100 metres of the entrance when all of a sudden I felt a few drips landing on me. Uh oh, it’s raining I thought, I better hurry up. I looked up at the sky and it was blue and there was no rain…

BIRD SHIT!!!

No, no, no this could not be happening! I looked down at myself and there it was – big smears of shit on my suit jacket, outside jacket, white shirt and my trousers.

IMG_0264.JPG

FUCK!

I literally screamed it out loud to the extent that people in the street turned round to stare. Okay, okay, calm down, run to the bathroom, bypass the meeting area and sort myself out. Plan!

I get to the bathroom – fucking no paper towels, only hand drier! Use toilet tissue, use toilet tissue. Rub it, rub it. It’s making it worse! It’s adding extra crumbly white bits to the shit! Okay dab it, dab it…that helped, calm again.

After reducing most of the damage up top it was time for the trousers. Most of the shit gone but now a new problem. Yes, it now looked like I’d actually pissed myself! Hand drier, hand drier, quick!

As the name suggests, hand driers tend to come at hand height otherwise they’d be called “leg driers”. Now, picture it – I’m standing at the hand drier with one leg held up in the air to get closer to the hotness while manically rubbing my leg. What a perfect time for someone else to enter the bathroom and all I could say to him was…

“A bird just shat on me – does this look lucky, does it?

He then quickly ran into one of the stalls leaving the crazy man to it.

Jinx – I believe, I believe!

What about you? Do you believe in superstitions? Have you had any unfortunate incidents happen at the worst possible time? If so, please share your story with me.

6 thoughts on “If You Don’t Believe in “Jinx” Then You Should!

  1. Reblogged this on Steve Says… and commented:

    This is having knock on effects. Today while training I took a drink of water from my plastic cup only to realise that there was a crack all the way down it which ended up with my covering my crotch in water…

    Like

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