Smoking Electronic Cigarettes Will Make Your Head Fall Off?

Who Said Stopping Smoking Was Hard?

I have stopped smoking, replacing them with electronic cigarettes. We know they are not as bad for our health as cigarettes but just how bad are they? I have my theory…

I did stop for 3 years a few years ago but sadly got back in the habit!

I have resisted jumping on the e-cigs bandwagon to help stop smoking up until now for a couple of reasons:

(1) A lot of people are using them simply as a replacement for smoking and developing new habits such as using them more and also in places they would not usually smoke

(2) We know the risks of smoking but the long-term effects of e-cigs have not yet been proven

What made me decide to give it a go?

I know they can be purchased online, in supermarkets and various market stalls etc but the other day whilst walking down the high street there was an actual shop. I went inside and it was modern, fresh with lots of shiny glass cabinets displaying all the products. I’m not sure what this says about me as a person but that was the selling point for me and I quickly made a purchase. The sales assistant was also very helpful which made it an even more positive experience.

They are great and I haven’t smoked a cigarette since for 6 weeks – I vape now and it, at least, is saving me a heap of money and we’ll just have to see how I get on with quitting altogether.

Since I’m a little bit weird I like to collect and try different flavours of liquid and even got myself a ‘vape purse’!

Coil Master Vape BagCoil Master Vape Bag

I also use the Niquitin tabs which I absolutely love! I call them ‘Ciggy-smints’.

Will they make my head fall off?

We just can’t be sure can we? I’m a massive Doctor Who fan and every time I think of e-cigs there are two particular episodes that spring to mind…

Partners In Crime:

The Doctor and Donna are both separately investigating Adipose Industries, which is marketing a special diet pill to the people of London. They find that the pill’s slogan, The Fat Just Walks Away, is literal. The pills use latent body fat to parthenogenetically create small white aliens called Adipose that spawn at night and leave the host’s body. The Doctor and Donna separately infiltrate the offices of Adipose Industries, each unaware that the other is there. Donna hides out in a toilet cubicle until they close, the Doctor stays in a storage room. As they explore the building, they suddenly encounter each other through opposite windows in an office. They are confronted by Miss Foster, an alien who is using Britain’s overweight population to create the Adipose babies for the Adiposian First Family. Miss Foster pursues the Doctor and Donna around the building, finally catching them in an office. She tells the Doctor that the Adipose lost their breeding planet and hired Miss Foster to find a replacement. The Doctor uses Miss Foster’s sonic pen and his sonic screwdriver to create a diversion and escape.

Basically, everyone gets hooked on a pill provided by aliens and end up breaking down into lots of little fat (but cute) aliens.

The Sontaran Stratagem:

ATMOS is marketing a satellite navigation system developed by young prodigy Luke Rattigan (Ryan Sampson). The system also reduces carbon dioxide emissions to zero; UNIT requested the Doctor’s help because the technology is not contemporary and might be alien. UNIT are also concerned about fifty-two simultaneous deaths occurring spontaneously several days earlier. The Doctor travels to Rattigan’s private school to investigate the system and discovers that the recent events have been plotted by an alien warrior race known as the Sontarans.

The Sontarans are part of a battlegroup led by General Staal, “the undefeated” (Christopher Ryan). Instead of an outright invasion, they are taking control with a combination of human clones, mind control, and ATMOS; Martha is captured by two of the controlled humans and cloned to provide a mole within UNIT.

Meanwhile, Donna returns home to warn her mother Sylvia (Jacqueline King) and grandfather Wilfred Mott (Bernard Cribbins) about the Doctor, having been advised to do so by Martha. Concerned about the implications of telling the truth, Donna decides against warning her mother. The Doctor investigates the ATMOS device attached to Donna’s car and discovers a secondary function: the device can emit a poisonous gas. Wilfred attempts to take the car off the road, but is trapped when Staal activates all 400 million ATMOS devices installed in cars worldwide. The episode’s cliffhanger depicts Donna shouting for help while the Doctor stares helplessly at a street full of cars emitting the gas, while on their ship orbiting the planet, the Sontarans prepare themselves for battle.

Basically, aliens hide toxic gases in our sat navs and plan to kill us all by activating them and poisoning the atmosphere.

Do you see where I am going with this?

Yes, my theory is that e-cigs have been sent to earth by an alien race and if we use them for long enough eventually all our heads will fall off from our bodies allowing the aliens to reuse the head and discard the poisoned body.

I could be wrong, we will just have to wait and see.

Good luck if you are quitting smoking and please try to keep your head!

Steve McSteveface on Twitter

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17 thoughts on “Smoking Electronic Cigarettes Will Make Your Head Fall Off?

  1. Oh my goodness. Steve where does your mind wonder lol!!! Still, you’re right… we don’t actually know what they could do long term!!!!

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      1. Well…. there are an awful lot of moments my mind wonders to wondrous places too…. I’d end up adding my Indian crazy twist to your ideas Lol!!!

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  2. OK, I have been back and forth on whether or not I was going to actually give in and watch Dr. Who, but this post may have tipped the scale in its favor. “The fat just walks away…” HA!

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    1. Very clever however if I could time travel simply by blinking then what’s the scary thing about that? I’d quite happily go back to the olden days and live a different life sometimes.

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      1. I tend to think outside the box – would I be allowed inside it and if so would I be able to think or would I have to keep going outside? If I couldn’t think inside the box I wouldn’t know that I actually had to go outside to think. Is that a paradox do you think?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Question: If you had a ‘magic’ box that could take you everywhere and anywhere how much time would you spend thinking inside the box?
        Conjecture: If you could go anywhere and everywhere why would you want to think inside the box.

        Liked by 1 person

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