What’s So Super About Supermarkets? NOTHING!


Rant One

Supermarket carrier bags are essential if you are buying quite a few items am I correct? Yes, so why the f**k when I have a basket full of shopping does the person behind the checkout still ask if I “would like a bag?”. Erm, yeah of course I bloody do – do you expect me to mother f***ing juggle my god damn shopping all the way home?

Perhaps I should get a “bag for life” and keep re-using that but, well,  that’s just never going to happen. I actually do re-use the plastic bags I take home anyway which leads me on to another point. Why, oh the f**k why are there always little holes in the bottom of the bag? I tend to re-use these bags to scoop up my cat’s s**t and it really p***es me off when I’ve scooped it up, taken it outside to the bin only to turn back and realise half the cat litter has fallen out through the stupid f***ing little holes. Seriously, it’s like a kitty litter version of Hansel & Gretal’s breadcrumbs. As if I needed to leave a trail back to the litter tray to find it again! It’s easy enough to find my way back because the f***ing smelly log that my cat just laid is still so ripe in the air that it makes your eyes sting. How can something so small, fluffy and cute produce something so toxic.

So, to the manufacturers of plastic carrier bags – less holes please a**holes!

Rant Two

Okay let’s stay with supermarkets. I’m all for good customer service but there is such a thing as “read your customer”. Sometimes at the end of the day when all I want to do is get home, stopping into my local shop is a chore that I want over and done with quickly. What I do not want or need is some f***wit playing 20 questions about how my bloody day was. Less chatting more f***ing packing please….and you’re even doing that wrong just f***ing give me it here and I’ll pack it myself! Plans for the evening? Erm, getting the f*** away from you would be a start.

Read your customer – if they answer your first question with a one word response then end it, end it right there!

There are always customer feedback forms that you can complete and drop in a box and I swear one of these days I’m going to put one in saying “PLEASE INSTALL SELF SERVICE CHECKOUTS”

Aaaaand relax…

Share your shouty moments with me.

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13 thoughts on “What’s So Super About Supermarkets? NOTHING!

  1. We have to pack our own shit at Aldi, so load it up on the belt in the right order (eggs last, etc). Definitely in the bring your own bag camp as we’re charged for the plastic ones. Which is fine. That is weird about the holes – who does that? I save the rare plastic bag for dog doo, but sometimes I’ll load it up with cat-leavings first. I’d be furious if a bag wasn’t even a damn bag!


  2. HA! I thought I was the only one who had the rant about the holes in plastic bags! I closely investigate each of the bags after putting groceries away to determine which ones are suitable for kitty litter disposal and which ones are only fit to be recycled. Thankfully our trash company recycles them so I no longer have a gi-normous thing of bags that need to be taken to the store to be recycled. Side note: The stores in Austin city limits now do not offer plastic bags. You either bring your reusable bags or have to buy them or leave juggling your purchases. Except for Target, Target now uses paper bags (old school) if you don’t have your own bags.


  3. Checking out is the worst part of grocery shopping. Today is Superbowl Sunday, so I go to the grocery store because no one will be there…ahhh. Checkout should be the same, right? Guess again.

    Because it was SS, they had one register open. Ok, that’s fine…but, this chatty guy bought 94.00 worth of groceries. Fine. The problem was when it was time to pay, he was all, “oh, I got a hundo in here, just a sec.” He proceeds to dig through his manpurse until he finds it. I wanted to cross- check him bc he ruined the joybuzz I had.


  4. No kidding about those holes in the plastic bags! and for the exact same reason… I always have to use 2 bags when I take out the kitty litter and just hope they don’t line up. thanks for another fine rant!


  5. I’m not a big fan of online shopping really. Ever since they forgot my chicken and they tend to substitute items for items that are in no way similar. I like the physical trolley up and down the aisle thing – i just hate the checkouts lol


  6. I totally loathe supermarkets. We now have self service tills which makes things so much easier. I also hate it when the person at the checkout keeps wanting to talk when all I want is to pay for my stuff and get out. No I do online shopping. Someone else goes around the aisles for you. Plus it is cheaper to keep an eye on the total costs. 😀


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